Welcome

A welcome home? Our little girl is doing fairly well adjusting to her new life(foreign world). We've been told to subtract 6 months (emotionally) for every year she has not lived with us. I(Wendy) think I need to do the same with my expectations. As John stated previously, the flight, and the first few days after we brought Blen into our life, were emotionally and physically challenging. My heart ached for the pain, loss, separation she was feeling, my left arm (only side she wanted) and body (she would only stop crying when I was standing with her head above my shoulder) all ached from the constant desire she had to be held.

I don't know exactly what I was expecting. All we read prior to bringing her into the family stated it would be hard for her to 'attach' & 'bond'. This, unfortunately was true for the relationship between John & Blen, but, physically at least, it wasn't for Blen to have for me. With each increasing moment her little arms insisted I 'assume the pose', I became more exasperated & exhausted. As the frequency and urgency continued, I wondered if it would ever end.

Then, perspective kicked in, she truly should be miserable. And want someone to make her feel like she's not all alone away from all she's every known, and ultimately, needed. Many have said, "it's so wonderful you're giving her an amazing new life & opportunity". I had to stop and realize, who is it amazing for? While many see it as a future filled with opportunity and hope for Blen, she currently may see it as a punishment of sorts. A banishment from all she's ever known and experienced.

So, I remind myself, with every outstreched hand of this little 'infant', I am here to comfort her, not get frustrated if I'm not constantly comfortable. I need to continue to rejoice with each smile, dance, giggle, she gives us because they happen more frequently and demonstrate a healing and bond that can only make us all flourish as a family. I rejoice with each minute she now spends with John, minutes when I can even leave the room and not hear her cries for me. She is adapting to our family. We are all adapting to her.

She is a beautiful strong little girl. I am now her mother. And that is something that will never end.

We've had some amazing victories. We've had some frustrations. But who hasn't with a toddler/infant? It has been one week for us together. I've only known this precious little girl for one week. Amazing. And humbling. I can only hope, I truly am providing, a welcome home.